by Rev. Paul DeGraaf, Douglas, ON
I had an epiphany last week. Thrifting with our oldest grandson, we found some toys that I used to play with as a child. It struck me that we live in a culture that places a high value on old stuff, while discarding old people. You and I are growing old in a “stay young” culture.
How do we cope with the changes that come
with aging in a society that values youth?
Our society values independence and self-sufficiency. The popular thought is that when those values diminish, so does the quality of one’s life, and with that the loss of dignity.
Psalm 71 was written by someone who realized that old age presents its own set of challenges and demands upon life.
The ancient composer cries out to God, “Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.” As the songwriter identifies with the struggles of aging, he also reminds himself of the ultimate source of his worth. “In you, O LORD, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame!” When we feel weak, irrelevant, useless, insignificant, we must find our stability and security by remembering the reliability of the LORD.
Three times the phrase “all day long” is used. Young or old, we have to learn to live a day at a time. How does the songwriter do that? By rehearsing the reliability of God. There are 3 stanzas in this psalm. Each stanza shares an abiding assurance about God’s reliability: God will protect us; God will be with us; God will use us.
God Will Protect us
One of the challenges of aging is that the demands of life become greater than the supplies. Our need for assistance increases with age. We realize that there are more and more things that we need help with. As we grow older, we face many fears. There is a growing sense of vulnerability, a loss of control. As the writer experiences the threats of aging, he repeats three times that “God is our Refuge.” Rather than focus on escaping the problems of life, he was affirming that he needed God to face life courageously and joyfully.
When we orient our lives to what we are losing, there is a growing sense of discontent, and that lends to a tendency to grumble. One preacher used to pray, “Lord, deliver me from becoming a mean old man.” There’s a temptation when people grow old to become critical and complain about the disappointments in their life. But this psalm is saturated with gratitude: “My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day . . . My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. . . . I will also praise you for your faithfulness, O my God.” As we depend upon God’s grace, we will always have something to be thankful for. As we grow old, we don’t need to fear because God will protect us.
God Will Be With Us
Loneliness can be a major problem as we grow old. Friends and family move away or pass away. Sometimes we must relocate, that means pulling up roots and leaving our community behind. Sometimes those who ought to care the most pay the least attention. The longing of psalmist’s heart is that God would stay with him during his declining years: “O God, be not far from me!” He affirms his confidence in God as his hope, “I will hope continually in you.” Hope in the scriptures is not wishful thinking; it is a confident expectation in God himself regardless of the circumstances in our life. Hope is the permission to live life today; the motivation to choose life over despair.
Dr. F. B. Meyer told a story about meeting a woman on a train who was depressed and burdened with care. She told him that her crippled daughter had died and this crisis had almost ruined her life. This mother had been accustomed to preparing a meal for her child before leaving for work each morning, and she anticipated the daughter’s happy greeting at the end of the day. Meyer said to her, “When you get home and put the key in the door, say aloud, ‘Jesus, I know You are here.’ As you prepare your meal, tell Him what happened during the day. At night, stretch out your hand in the darkness and say, ‘Jesus, I know You are here!’” The same woman met Meyer some weeks later, and he did not recognize her. Instead of lines of misery on her face, there was a smile of joy. “I did as you told me,” She said, “and it has made all the difference in my life.” God is with us. We have a reason to live.
God Will Use Us
Another care of aging is that we will no longer be useful. With that concern is the fear that we are a burden to others. The psalmist expresses his desire to be used by God in old age: “So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.” He confesses a burden for the next generation to know the faithfulness of God. God doesn’t bless us for our own benefit, but that we may share him with others so that they may be blessed by knowing him as well.
Even though our culture esteems independence, we are by nature interdendent beings.; living in community; relying on others. There are no absolutely antonymous human beings. As we age, we become increasingly aware of our weakness. Our culture says that if I have to rely on someone else for care, it is a loss of dignity. It may be challenging, but it is actually a beautiful thing. The glory of community is that it exists of helpers and the helped. For a perfect example of this, watch the video documentary, “My Second Life.”
In our weakness God’s strength is made perfect. Not only by our faith in him, but also in the faith of others expressed in their care for us.
Occupy And Rehearse
The lesson from this psalm is clear: occupy yourself with the LORD; rehearse his reliability and your life in old age will be characterized by praise, rather than anxiety, discontent and despair. Author Henry Durbanville wrote in his book, The Best Is Yet to Be: “I feel so sorry for folks who don’t like to grow old. If God should say to me, ‘I will let you begin over again and you may have your youth back once more,’ I should say, ‘If You do not mind, I prefer to go on growing old.’ I would not exchange the peace of mind, the abiding rest of soul, the measure of wisdom I have gained from the sweet and bitter and perplexing experiences of life. These are the best years of my life – the sweetest, and the freest from anxious care. The way grows brighter, the birds sing sweeter, the winds blow softer, the sun shines more radiantly than ever before…. My ‘outward man’ is perishing, but my ‘inward man’ is being joyously renewed day by day.”
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